So that last post was a tear jerker! Let's take something lighter this time.
I was thinking the other day-always a dangerous endeavor. How do I transition from Mom, the mother, into Mom, the co-adult? Ok, honestly, it is dumb to think I will ever stop being Mom, the mother. Revise...how do I add Mom, the co-adult, to Mom, the mother? How do I acknowledge their movement into adulthood in actions, not just words? We all know that actions speak louder than words. My adult children have skills that I did not teach them. I have no idea where those skills were acquired but they are there and some of them are impressive...Skills I wish I had...Oh, a thought is forming...Could I ask them to teach me? As an adult myself and a homeschool mother, I have learned to admit that I don't know everything. Trust me, it was a painful lesson. God gave me ample situations in which to practice humility. Now, not only do I have to admit I don't know but I have to admit that they have this skill. And then, I have to admit that they have enough skill to teach it to me. And then, I have to actually ask them to teach me. And then, I have to be a good student. And then, I am going to need a nap!
Technology is the easiest place for me to practice the above scenario. I am not a complete technology dummy but I am not proficient. My cell phone drives me nuts. Usually I hand it to #5 and say, "Fix it." Once in a while I manage a, "Could you please do this for me?" Hmmm, psychologically, she gets some self-confidence and satisfaction from knowing that she has a skill that I don't. How much more can I give her if I ask her to teach me her skill? How much can I give my adult children by asking them to teach me their skill? How much closer can I get myself to the virtue of humility? How much can I improve my relationship with my adult children if I acknowledge their skills and ask them to teach me?
This parenting of adult children looks to be a lot of work on my part!
The oldest six of my children sew. Some of them enjoy it, some don't. Some of them have mad skills. My two oldest girls surpassed my ability four or so years ago. I freely admitted it. I didn't have a choice, really, because I couldn't help them with the patterns. I found someone to help them and they progressed well beyond me. Last year at 4H sewing project time, one of the moms asked #2 to help her girls because they were past her skill. I saw the pride in #2 from this simple request from someone she knew and respected. And I saw how easy it was for this mom to ask. Hmmm, could I learn something from this? I had a pattern that needed resizing. Could I ask #2 to help me, to teach me even? Oh, yeah, I could do it. After all it is my job as mother as well as my privilege as co-adult. Stuff my pride! I can teach them that mothers are people too.
Sometimes those smarty pants adult kids force the issue. I was having problems with some irritating thing on the computer. I asked #1 to do it for me. That brat said, "No, but I will teach you how to so you can do it yourself next time." Brat! Where does she think she learned that? From me! Unfortunately, she was right. Did I say 'brat'?
I actually enjoy the interactions we have when I ask them to teach me things. I enjoy watching their ability to teach. I enjoy the closeness, the one-on-one time with them. I love the confidence it gives them in their skills. I am impressed by their ability to demonstrate without making me feel like an idiot. And I am happy to teach them that adults can learn and can ask for help when they need it. Plus, I get a new skill out of the deal. Are there skills that your adult children can teach you? Are there skills that you can admit that your adult children can teach you? Give them this gift. The rewards are worth the lesson in humility.
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