In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to tell you about 3 of my heroes. I'm not talking about those heroes on TV that had a moment of bravery saving someone from certain death. Although I still consider those people heroes, I am talking about the everyday hero. The person who lives out something everyday that is selfless and beautiful and does it without hesitation because it is part of their nature.
Our oldest daughter turned 21 yesterday. She is not your typical 21 year old. She is happily married and just had a beautiful baby girl. She is an amazing mother. She researches every aspect of babyhood: car seat safety, thrush treatment, vaccinations, infant development, baby hip health...you name it, she has probably researched it. Two years ago she lost a baby at 13 weeks of pregnancy. It was heartbreaking as a mother to see my little girl in such pain. I had miscarried so I knew what kinds of emotions were going on. But I had miscarried my 9th child. I was a full blown adult with the experience and life lessons that come with adulthood. Not that it makes it any less of a loss, but I had some skills built up to deal. She didn't. And yet she handled it beautifully, like a pro. She grieved and talked and found help and allowed herself to love her lost child. She handled it like a hero. My hero.
Daughter #2 chose not to go to college right after graduation. She wanted to travel some and have some time to be free from debt and not locked into that 'adult' life of constant work to pay for education. She is wonderful with children so she started babysitting but not for your typical families. One of her families has four boys, each with some behavioral or medical issue. Another of her charges required her to deal with state paperwork to become a non-licensed state childcare provider. (Anyone who deals with state paperwork is a hero.) The final family I want to mention is a wonderful youngish family. They had 6 children in 9 years. One of the little ones has a colon tube that needs flushing. Mom had significant trouble and when her youngest was 6 months old, Mom needed pelvic reconstruction surgery. She was left with 3 little ones at home while Dad worked. A mutual friend called to tell us about this family. She suggested that maybe #2 or #5 could help for the 6 weeks of Mom's recovery. #2 stepped up. The family lives a couple of towns away so travel was necessary. There wouldn't be a lot of payment. One of the local churches was offering as much as they could and the family would cover as much as they could but certainly not what #2 could get elsewhere. Besides that there were days when #2 would be taking Mom and/or one of the children to doctor appointments so #5 went with her to stay back at the house. #2 paid #5 from what little pay she received. #2 was still watching her other charges and coaching 5th-8th grade field hockey. She was working 12 hour days five days a week and several hours on Saturday. What was she getting from this five weeks besides exhaustion? The pay was ok but certainly less than the work she was doing. She never complained. She did more than was expected or required. She fell in love with the whole family. She trained and paid her younger sister. She even became a friend to Mom. She was selfless, grateful, content, invaluable. She was a hero. My hero.
Last but not least...our oldest son, #3, has grown into a wonderful man. He is not yet 17 but presents as older. He is quiet and reserved and a self-proclaimed introvert. He is an alter server MC who takes his responsibilities very seriously. He studies clock repair with some gentlemen who are the age of his father and grandfathers. He takes an active roll in caring for his younger brothers and sisters. He opens doors for older people, all women, and even his sisters. He is always polite and well mannered. The other day we were leaving Mass. He and his older sister were in front of me walking down the stairs. It was windy and cold. Just as natural as breathing, my boy gave his sister his arm and walked her down the steps and to the car. She accepted just as naturally demonstrating that this was not an unusual occurrence. I had seen it before but this time it struck me. What a gentleman. What a hero. My hero.
These adult children of ours, they turn into these amazing people...if we look and admit that they have grown into themselves. We can take a bit of credit for who they become but never forget to acknowledge and admire the part the Holy Spirit played in the beauty of who they are. And I think it is important in this parenting of adult children to acknowledge and admire the heroes they have become. And perhaps tell them.
