What is an adult?

So my beautiful #2 and I had a meal together the other day. We were discussing things pertaining to being an adult - what that looked like, what it meant. It got me thinking.  What does it mean to be an adult? How do you know you are there? I assume I am an adult. After all, I have a grandchild and a mortgage and gray hair. That makes me an adult, right? Hmm, sounds like a research project to me.  Is there a definition or some criteria, some check-off list to let us know when we have achieved adulthood? 

According to the dictionary, an adult is a person who is fully grown or developed or of age and a person who had attained the age of maturity as specified by law.  Not terribly helpful.  Wikipedia, the font of all knowledge, separates the definition biologically and legally.  Biologically, an adult is a human who has reached sexual maturity.  Holy mackerel, that could mean my 13 year old.  I choose to throw out that definition for the purpose of this discussion.  Legally, an adult is a person "who has attained the age of majority and is therefore regarded as independent, self-sufficient, and responsible".  I know a large number of people who have reached the age of majority who can barely be considered self-sufficient and definitely not responsible.

With further investigation I came across the 20 Defining Characteristics of a True Adult from Marc at Angel Hack Life.  Cool, a check-off list!  Oh, um, it doesn't say anything about grandchildren or mortgages or gray hair.  (If I knew how to copy and paste a web address on my tablet I would pass it on but, alas, this skill eludes me.)  This list talks about 'continuously striving for self-improvement', and 'maintains patience and flexibility on a daily basis' (Daily? Seriously?).  Ooo, ooo! Love this one.  '8.  Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation.'  Ha!  This person obviously is defining adulthood in some country other than the US.  I wonder how many you have to check off to qualify as an adult.  Oh, well, did I mention the grandchild?  The list actually ends with a very good paragraph that just might serve our purposes.

      Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can.  They are able to distinguish
      between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.

I also found a silly checklist at happyplace.com. And from HelloGiggles.com there is an amusing 'Top Ten Signs You're an Adult'.  Yup, checked off all ten of those!  Thetakeaway.org had people finish a statement.  I would like to share a few of my favorites.

You know you're an adult when...
     -you realize your parents aren't as old as you thought.
     -friends start lending you their apartment and not the couch.
     -you are paying rent...and it's not to your parents.
     -my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday and all I could thing of was a self-defrosting refrigerator.
     -I got my first bill to pay back my student loan and realized how much debt I was already in.
     -my son was born.
     -you accept responsibility for your mistakes.

So where does that put us?  What is an adult?  What does it mean to start your adult life?  I think I am going with the quote from Angle Hack Life.  It seems to sum up all the other stuff.  It is a simple truth that can be passed on to our children.  It describes my life.  There are definitely 'adults' out there who, by this definition, do not qualify as true adults but they can feel free to use any one of the other criteria.  We spend a lot of our children's time teaching them that some things are more important than others and some things have to be done before they can play.  I guess they are adults when they take these lessons to heart. 

I don't think this will solve Mary's problem but hopefully it helps.  Love you, Darling.